I debated with myself about starting this blog, because hey- everyone makes a first post and then never goes back to update it, and I am notorious for starting journal-type things and then dropping them. But whatever, if nothing else I will have one post to look back on and I will have expanded the internet a little bit more. I do plan on trying to keep up on this thing, but plans go haywire and we will just have to see, now won't we?
I suppose if I wanted to make this legit, I should have done a post before I left- one of those "What do I expect" posts, but to tell the truth- it didn't ever really hit me that I was about to spend four months in another country. I am now in my hotel in Edinburgh, going through orientation and it still hasn't quite sunk in. That should be fun when it finally does.
It has been interesting so far. Coming into Edinburgh is a bit like walking into a piece of fiction. It is so old, it is almost hard to believe- especially coming from America. It is hard to take a country's history seriously when the building where the Pizza Express is housed outdates the nation by a few centuries or so. I love the architecture of both the Old Town and New Town and I really can not wait to explore and figure out where I am going. My lack of a sense of direction is really not helping right now, but I think I will manage. Me and some people I met from the program have already gone exploring. I keep telling myself this place isn't nearly as big as NYC, so it can't be that bad- but we'll see if that theory holds. I think once I am actually settled in my apartment I will be a lot better off.
I am both really excited and really nervous about the next few weeks. I can't wait to explore, go traveling, get lost, and experience scottish culture in a way that a tourist never really could. I want to get a good feel for this city, to be able to point out local places, and be hip with the slang. I can't wait to come back to America with a mish-mosh of a Long Island and Scottish accent. I think I am most excited about what this experience can offer me for the future. I sure as hell plan to have fun with societies, clubs, traveling, and going out- but I also know that the person I am now will not be the person that will board the plane in January to go back to the U.S. I hope that person is a better person.
But what if I'm not? I think that is what is making me the most nervous. Not getting lost, or trying Haggis, not being able to meet people or getting bad grades; the thought that these five months will show me more things I dislike about myself than what I like. Will I be able to handle the Scottish Academic system, where personal study is so important and preparing ahead of time is the only way to pass? Will I not travel as much as I hope to because I am afraid to leave my new comfort zone? Will I get mad at the differences between here and home and end up disliking this city, which I want to love so much? I hope all the answers to these questions are no, but I am not Professor Trelawney and there is no way for me to predict the future.
But I am going to work as hard as I can to make sure that if I end up not liking something about what happens I can say "Well, at least I tried". I have a feeling everything will work out, and that I am just being silly. Time will tell, and I am a lot more excited then I am nervous. I can't wait to get my own room so I am no longer in a hotel surrounded by Americans. I feel like that is when I am really going to be able to dive in, and figure out how to use the potential these next few weeks hold.
Wish me luck!
Hopefully I will post soon :)
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